Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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