I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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