I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
