we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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