I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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