he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
