it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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