My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm getting married
To pizza
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
