i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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