DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize