Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
