Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
