Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
