Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You're completely useless in the revolution.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
