I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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