once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
