You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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