The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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