So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize