also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
