Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
me + whiskey = a bad person
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
