the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's blow job season.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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