Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
