thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
