OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
