One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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