My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
