If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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