Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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