I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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