Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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