That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
