That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
