Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
