Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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