Pappa wants mamma naked
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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