your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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