$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
