After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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