I think my fart just growled at me.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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