week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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