I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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