im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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