peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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