so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
