whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
