yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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