i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize