yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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