miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
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It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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