Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize