I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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