I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
