we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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