Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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