i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
