hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
